


Rumor Mill

by MintySkulls



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Fake Dating, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-23
Updated: 2018-12-23
Packaged: 2019-09-25 04:14:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,814
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17114267
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MintySkulls/pseuds/MintySkulls
Summary: The consistent stream of jokes and jabs at them about their love lives and what they do in their spare time after-hours can only be tolerated for so long. It's time to fight back, with PDA.AKA the org catches wind that Xemnas and Saïx have a no-strings-attached sexual relationship, but don't know about the no-strings part, and they're laying the jokes on thick. We all die someday, write the fake-dating fics you WANT! Here's a short one from me





	Rumor Mill

“Well, I suppose we’re dating now.”

            “Says who?” Saïx asked, pausing his toast buttering and turning with a raised eyebrow at Xemnas.

            “Public opinion. I’ve no idea who caught wind of our…rendezvous or if someone is just grasping for any kind of gossip they can get ahold of.” He paused and looked out toward the lobby. He sighed, adding, “And Axel has been glaring at me all morning. Since when was he one to believe anything without seeing it himself?”

            “Wonderful.” Saïx groaned and poured his coffee. “I can pinpoint at least two people who are going to ask me about the quality of your genitalia. I wonder if they paid off the Dusks…”

            Xemnas shrugged. The Dusks did talk among themselves what with workplace chatter, but they weren't so bold as to eavesdrop on anyone unless specifically ordered to by someone of more authority than the general member. If they were told to do it, the amount of who had the authority definitely left a lot less suspects.

            “If they’re going to annoy us, we may as well annoy them back for spreading rumors.” He suggested.

            Saïx looked to him, curious.

            "I say we put on a show." Xemnas explained.

            “…Fake-date? Couldn’t that decrease morale and productivity given how ridiculous they are about rumors in general?”

            “If anything, it’d be entertaining to them while they try to find any truth behind it.”

            Truth being, they just slept together. It wasn't unusual within the Organization, Xigbar and Demyx were definitely doing that and actually considered themselves dating, Marluxia and Larxene seemed to have something going on, and Saïx and Axel had previously had a relationship.

            Saïx could still be (kind of) fun, and he could also be petty, and that would be both so that was sounding good right about now. If he had the option of wasting the others’ time as much as they wasted he and Xemnas' with nothing but their own obsessions with the hottest rumors (which didn’t have much of a standard, already), he’d happily waste theirs. This kind of thing wouldn't impede the daily functions in the castle, so that was a perk. He'd also be lying if he claimed he wasn't starved for affection by now, Axel ditching him and all. Heart or no, physical contact outside of sex had its psychological benefits.

           "So be it. I assume we go about it subtly at first?” He asked.

            Xemnas nodded while he sipped at his coffee and walked to the toaster. “Do we have any everything bagels left?”

           "Oh, hey, lovebirds. Lemme squeeze in here to get some more coffee before you start making out and it gets cold while I wait for you to finish up." Xigbar snickered as he bumped past them both.

           The two of them exchanged glances toward him and then to each other. Revenge is a whole damn feast best served in courses.

            First, they started with much more discreet things, things people would only notice if they were staring at them and searching for any semblance of romance. It would be easy to see who was paying extra attention to them this way. They would brush fingers, hands would linger for a second too long when handing things over, and there would be the slight lean into each other when talking outside of the Round Room; leaning out of a chair at fatal heights was never a good idea. Not many members noticed aside from Axel, Xigbar, and Luxord. The latter two didn’t seem to care too much.

            After a week of that, they moved onto shoulder touches going on for too long, sitting together on breaks when theirs lined up (instead of Xemnas just going wherever the hell he went normally to eat lunch and whatnot), and would occasionally fix each other’s hair or coats if something minor was out of place. While they remained overall professional with respect to their roles and it _was_ work hours, there was enough that people _had_ to be catching on by then. They knew Xaldin was suspicious, Axel was at least vaguely curious but annoyed, Luxord was amused and making bets with other members (those poor people), Xigbar and Demyx gave them knowing glances, and nobody else cared too much. It was as if absolutely nobody was surprised at all (and nobody was).

             There was only so much further they could go.

            The day was coming to a close, missions were all done, the reports turned in, most lights were going out automatically, and most other members were in their rooms or headed there. Saïx leaned against the back of one of the couches of the lobby, skimming over the less interesting reports. Not a whole lot went on that day, it was mostly everyone taking down some Shadows and weaker emblem Heartless. It was mundane, sure, but it was better than the stress of multiple giant Heartless needing to be taken down.

           “You’re still out here. I figured you would have gone to your study, at least.”

            He looked up at Xemnas, who was walking over with two mugs.

            “It’s been a day, as usual. Some people are insistent on specifying every type of Heartless they accost. I figured I'd head over that way, soon.” Saïx sighed, turning his attention to the mugs. “Tea?”

            Xemnas nodded, handing one mug to him. “Chamomile. I’m in the mood for it and I noticed you’ve had a headache for the better part of the day. You kept rubbing your temples.”

            “Oh. Thank you.”

            _I do that that much? Maybe I should stock up on ibuprofen. The headache's been gone for quite a few hours, though._

            “If we’re going to stay here for a while, we should sit.” Saïx suggested and circled around to the seat.

            Xemnas followed him around took a seat on the other end of the couch for the sake of stretching out.

            “How much longer should we keep this up?” Saïx asked as he set his mug on the coffee table.

            “I…am unsure. They seem convinced enough to be satisfied.”

            “I won’t complain if we keep it up for a bit more, or at least we continue until everyone tires themselves out. They get so _invigorated_ by gossip.”

            Xemnas chuckled and lightly swirled the tea in his mug.

            “Is that _really_ your whole reason?”

            “I’d love for them to be totally quiet about this after we end this façade is all. There’s little need to cut corners.”

            Xemnas set his mug down, smiling knowingly. “Hm, if you insist.”

            Xemnas reached over and brushed some of his hair out of his face.

            “I certainly wouldn’t mind if we continued the façade even while nobody is watching.”

            “What benefit would there be?” Saïx asked.

            “It’s enjoyable, for one thing. It’s not as though we can truly feel anything, so that’s of little concern.”

            "I suppose it is. Motivation to be human again increases in the wake of it. Maybe we could motivate them further by such things."

            Saïx slid a hand up his thigh as he was pulled closer. He slid his other arm over Xemnas' shoulder and let his fingers absentmindedly run through his hair.

            “What a mockery of humans we are.” Saïx sighed, gold eyes refracting the pale light Kingdom Hearts was filling the room with, making them almost glow(and not in the way they usually did when he was going berserk, which is objectively scarier).

            Leaning in, Xemnas purred, “We can certainly be convincing mockeries.”

            Roxas sighed and peered in every opened door in sight. Seriously, where did Axel go? He had to ask him things, because seriously, why did birds eat rocks? They had to know you shouldn’t eat those! Should he stop them next time he saw it? He was here for nature! He was gonna help nature if he needed to!

            It was a weird hour but not too late, so maybe he was in the lobby.

            So, Roxas headed that way. He heard _someone_ in there. He wasn't sure what the hell was even going on, but it clearly wasn't vacant.

            “Hey? Axel?” He called and poked his head in.

            There was, in fact, not Axel in there, but Xemnas and Saïx were kissing _fairly passionately_ on a couch. Both of their heads snapped in the direction of the hallway, eyebrows furrowed.

            “Have—have you seen him?” Roxas squeaked.

            “No.” Came the reply in freakish unison.

            Roxas averted his stare and awkwardly turned back around.

            “Uh… _okay_.” He grunted.

            He had questions _and_ gossip now. Xigbar would have to buy it from him if he asked, though. He power-walked away staring forward and wishing he wasn’t the one who was the witness to whether or not they were actually a thing.

            “I think they’re convinced.” Xemnas muttered.

            “Yes, I would imagine unless XIII has been baffled into silence.”

            “He’s probably going to trade what he knows for ice cream or something like that...and then tell Axel."

            “Anyhow,” Xemnas turned back to him, “we should make good of it being a slow night."

            “Here? Demyx and Xigbar have made it a habit to… _rendezvous_ here. I wouldn’t be surprised if they show up. There’s really no set day for them, either.”

            “Why would anyone go here instead of a bedroom before they’ve even started anything? The couches aren’t _that_ comfortable.” Xemnas scoffed.

            “The couches aren’t comfortable at all, actually. I don’t understand the logic behind it unless they like the lighting enough to suffer through sex in here."

            Xemnas leaned back, still trying to process why someone would choose to have intercourse on a faux-marble couch as opposed to a mattress. Xigbar was very wiry and he _definitely_ bottomed at least sometimes—his morning rambling seemed to imply that—so how his knees and back survived that was a mystery. Maybe the massive windows with all the moonlight was especially romantic and made up for it? Neither of them seemed the romantic type, but everyone had their secrets here.

            “Er, anyhow, we should go to one of our rooms.Where there's a bed." Saïx suggested as he glanced toward the doorway again.

            Xemnas nodded and rose to his feet, finishing what bit of his tea was left in the process. He rubbed his back and opened a dark corridor. A mattress sounded good after sitting on one of those couches.

            Saïx watched a Dusk slither up and reach out for their mugs, which he handed his to. He turned back to Xemnas and eagerly followed him in.

            "So, do we start making out in the lobby in the light of day soon to make it obvious beyond what we've done? We seem to have no objections doing that at night."

            Xemnas chuckled. "Oh, I think a few pet-names will be in order, too."

            "If you insist it will make this show all the much better, _dear_."


End file.
